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poppetgirl
15 April 2009 @ 08:34 pm

I want to confess something.  im rubbish.  Im not really me i'm an almagamation of things I want to be but dont have the guts or skill to be.

  You know I started a blog 3 years ago on blogger because someone I didnt like was on there and I wanted to be more popular than her.  thats a  really petty pathetic reason for doing something, it turned out that actually blogging was really cathartic and I kinda stopped using that site and moved on, but still thinking about that all those years ago now still makes me feel pretty ashamed.

Its the same with some of my artwork, not my newest stuff because i've learnt from what i've done previously, but some of my older stuff, the stuff that people really like comes from looking at other peoples artwork and copying bits.  Thats not talent is it?  I mean copying someone elses talent doesnt make you talented.  Hence the reason why im rubbish, and quite a bit of a cheater  you want to see talent go to people like http://queenofdorks.deviantart.com/ or http://celesse.deviantart.com/ they're proper artists, secretly a teeny tiny part of me hopes that back in the days when they were beginning they too had to look at other peoples artwork to learn, but I should at least give them credit for helping me out.

Its the same with dieting.  i came off the cambridge diet and im doing well not eating chocolate and living on salad and suchlike, but I cheated on losing weight. being on teh cambridge diet takes you away from food completely so you dont have to bother with it.  the minute you're around food again its a whole different ball game.  I really admire people who eat properly and healthily and exercise and lose weight the hard work way, like my friends debbie and linda, and my husbands mum.  Its a struggle but they do it.  its what im now trying to do and finding tricky.


The things im most proud of, my guitar, song writing skills, my crochet work.  these things, they're mine. 


 I do them and I do them 100% as me.  I think thats why im proud of them theyre 100% effort of mine,  I'm studying at the moment, doing a degree in psychology, hoping to maybe learn a bit more about what makes me tick and the person I am.  then perhaps I can iron out these kinks and get myself sorted into a proper person.  Although most proper people have flaws,  I just seem to have a batch of them
 
 
Current Mood: contemplative
 
 
poppetgirl
09 April 2009 @ 10:52 pm

Well today was the last day of work till tuesday.  it felt like the last day of school cause no-one could be bothered doing any work.  I made cornflake cakes and the way they were recieved by work you'd think I'd have made some sort of culinary masterpeice, everyone pretty much went out at lunchtime to the shops and bought choclate and cornflakes and minieggs to make their own at home tonight.  (for anyone not knowing, what you do is you get some choclate, melt it pour it over cornflakes mix it all together spoon the mix into cupcake cases and leave in the fridge to set put minieggs on the top to finish off the nest effect.  End of story).  Well everyone was really happy about them and even happier by the fact that i'd gotten everyone an easter egg and had hidden them around the building (each egg had each persons name on them)  I hid will's in one of the ovens and marvs in a really random test machine, lindas was in the staff breadbin,  she took forever to find hers.  it was really fun watching everyones face light up when they realised they were going to go on an egg hunt.  instantly everyone was five years old again. It was worth the money

So the rest of the day at work was spent reminiscing about things like dungeon and dragons and extreme ghostbusters ( not the real ghostbusters which was different and way cooler but the next cartooon which sucked) and talking about a live action version of thundercats.  So at the end of the day I got a bunch of flowers which was nice and unexpected.  Made me feel loved.  Came home and made spaghetti bolognaise.  When we abbreviate that to spag bol, I think spag should be a word in its own right dont you think.  Spag.  hehehe its funny.  i need to figgure out what it means.  it sounds derogatory like "you're such a spag" but we have enough derogatory words in society so I want it to mean something else.

Speaking about society all my open university material turned up today, im starting a degree in psychology.  JEEEEZ theres enough of it.  A big box of coursework and dvds and cds and forms and it all looks really intimidating truth be told but im really looking forward to getting stuck into that, but its noisey today at my house so I dont think I can concentrate,  still what perfect timing I can do some over the long weekend now.  Even though my course doesnt start till may its a good idea to get organised and get ahead.

Also this song is stuck in my head a lot recently.  it reminds me of fleetwood macs, songbird song.  i dont know why, theres just a connection  in my head between the two as a result I actually like this song which is rare for me to like a dance track, La rouxs, In for the kill.

So yeah been feeling really happy, me and my husband are off to his train on saturday ( we do train renovation as a hobby and we're setting up a museum which is pretty exciting) and then on sunday going to an art and crafts fair which im excited about.  im just happy to be free from work for a few days.  There was something else I was going to say but I've forgotten hehehe that always happens

 
 
Current Mood: geeky
Current Music: La roux, weren't you paying attention LOL
 
 
poppetgirl
08 April 2009 @ 05:38 pm

the above title is actually completely and utterly true.  yep yep. Its about time I confessed.  I used to be the leader of a vigilante group.  We called ourselves the Dark Angels We had a logo (the D had a halo around it and the g curled round into a devils tail) and it was our job to police the streets of our little village and make sure bad things didnt happen.  the thing was bad things never happened, because it was a village in the back of beyond, so we made a new goal, which was to bring the people of the village happiness.  So this is how the story went.....

It was the easter holidays back when I was 11 that I decided to make this group and there were only 3 of us in it.  the elite of the elite of the losers group.  me at the head and my best friend stacy and our best guy friend david.  All three of us decided that we needed to make bird boxes as trees were getting cut down in the local play park and we were worried the birds would be homeless (not taking into consideration the massive forest at the back of the village or the equally sized different forest to the right) So we made a bird box out of random bits of wood and some nails we had 'borrowed' from my dads shed.  This bird box had nails sticking out of it all over and we decided it didnt look natural so birds wouldnt live in it so we painted it with white emulsion paint and covered it in sawdust. and drew in biro the name of our vigilante group.  Our aim was to make a bird box for each house in the village, but by the end of the first one and after several arguments about how it should look we decided one bird box would be enough.  We decided we had to put the box up in a tree when it was midnight because thats what vigilantes did, they worked at night, so that night we agreed to meet up at the school at 2am.  I set my alarm and went to sleep, only being a heavy sleeper the alarm didnt wake me although it woke the rest of the house.  So I woke up at 8am and realised what had happened, so when I met up with david and stacy stacy hadnt bothered coming so only david had ended up at the school at 2am and I had had the birdbox so he couldnt do anything with it.  LAFFIN.  I cant believe I forgot that memory until today. 

Then as our 2nd vigilante act, because it was spring daffodils and crocuses were everywhere so we picked as many as we could find and decided to make boquets to put on people doorsteps when they were asleep.  So we made (what we thought) were enough of these little boquets for the village but in reality did about 2 streets and one evening about 9 oclock we put these boquets on peoples doorsteps.  I wonder what people thought, and why those particular streets. By the time they got them in the morning they were probably withered looking weeds. Oh that was soo funny, looking back on that now seeing how deluded we were.

Me stacy and david were always trying to come up with schemes and ideas during the summer and winter holidays, we borrowed my dads lawnmower on a couple of occasions and went round knocking on peoples doors trying to get money and offering garden cleaning services and things like that, we also got one of those trundle wagons and filled it full of toys we didnt want and tried to go door to door selling all our crap.  We donated the money to charity, all £17 pounds of it.  We got up to mischief too, david set one of the school bins on fire,  it was a frog that you put the rubbish in its mouth, it was made of plastic so it totally melted and fused to the playground tarmac stuff so it all got dug up and had to be replaced.  We also found an old cowshed once and cleaned it out by picking lots of reeds and tying them into brooms, we swept it all out found some boxes to use as table and chairs, borrowed some of my mums old curtains to put up in the little window and it was going to be our secret base,  we found some cow medicine with the syringes to administer the concoctions so we syringed our names in cow medicine all over the walls.  then the farmer turned up and frog marched us home to our parents.  Other than the medicine thing we'd actually done him a favour cleaning out the shed, and if that medicine had been expensive (which I suspect it might have been)  he shouldnt have left it laying around  even if it was on his private property.  Yeah that farmer was our arch nemesis, or maybe we were his.  It wasnt supposed to be like that but we were always playing on his hay bales or making crop circles and stuff so yeah he probably wasnt fond of us.

I also remember that summer finding a pound note in a manky old abandonned bathtub so me and my sister stuck it the the front handlebars of my bike and I rode around really fast for about an hour trying to dry it off so we could spend it. W e went off to the local shoppe and bought a feast (we got some carrots some 10p packet of crisps, a big bag of marshmellows and the rest in penny sweets)  We felt like we dined like royalty in the park but when we got home and gave our mum the half bag of marshmellows she thought we'd stolen them,  we explained that we'd found a pound note then she got angry that we hadnt brought anything back for our baby sister.  I felt kinda guilty about that because we hadnt even thought about amanda being only 2 at the time.  I think when I see her in the next couple of weeks I'll explain this story to her and tell her I was sorry, even though she wont remember it.  But a whole pound note to a couple of kids ages 9 and 7 really does feel like a kings ransom, although I doubt it does to the kids today.

Did you ever do something crazy when you were a kid?
 
 
Current Location: relaxing at home
Current Mood: nostalgic
 
 
poppetgirl
07 April 2009 @ 05:34 pm

I've really been craving watching beauty and the beast since I drew this picture a few weeks ago.  problem is for some reason, buying that particular disney film seems to be practically impossible.  Why is it that it costs almost 40 pounds to buy on DVD?  Is it printed on gold or something?  does it come witha free talking candlestick?  I dont understand.

Easter its coming you know and you know what that means.  *cue over the top suspence music..duh duh duuuuuh* yep chocolate, oodles and oodles of it.  Now im a normal girl I adore chocolate.  i'd happily eat it till I died from cocoa overdosing, but my tummy really doesnt want any.  Its wobbly and bulging over the tops of my jeans and its just not happy about it at all, so Im  only going to have one easter egg this year, that way I wont feel deprived and feel in the spirit of scoffing easter chocolate, but I wont over do it thus sparing me from the all too common spiral of self loathing and depression.  HUZZAH!  Easter crisis averted.

In new news A new pink wig came today in the post, sadly its much shorter than I was expecting and as a result wont work for the cosplay I intend to do.  *smoo*...ahh smoo is a word me and my husband made up its a sort of noise you make when you're disspointed,  its usually followed by a sigh (big or little depending on what you're dissapointed about)  This particular smoo is a small one,  its not the end of the world, I have time to find a different pink wig.

This weekend looks like i'm off to coventry and the kenilworth castle for a friends medeval re-inactment show,  then next weekend im off staying with friends in essex then the weekend after that its off to sunny Aberdeen to see my family.  im really excited I havent seen any of them since my wedding back in september.  Sometimes being the only member of my family south of the border is kinda sad.
 
 
Current Location: at home
Current Mood: awake
 
 
poppetgirl
05 April 2009 @ 12:00 am
Hi there, my names sam, well really its samantha but I only hear that when i've done something wrong, like "SAMANTHA!!" So sam, or sammy, will suffice.

What can I tell you about me that'll make you think, she seems nice...or she seems interesting i'll try being her friend?

Well im a gemini, that makes me pretty crazy straight away, and I like a whole host of different things, from computer games (RPG's are my forte but I'll play anything) and Anime (hellsing, chobits, trinity blood, fruits basket, air xxxholic and cardcaptor sakura being amoung my favourites) I also cosplay, to date i've done chii, and sakura really rather badly, but this may at the london expo I tend to go all out and do a really decent version of raspberyl from Disgaea 3.

I dont actually have any cosplay friends that I can learn the tricks of the trade from so i'm learning everything from scratch, its a steep learning curve but I think im ambling on gamely.

Im tubby, yep no size 8, but im getting there. In january I was a size 20 but through exercise and not eating rubbish im not a size 14 so it wont be too long before I can pull off some slinky cosplay costumes.

I've also been steadily leaning towards being lolita, however all the lolitas i've spoken to soo far have been really kind of elitist and mean to the point where im questioning my motives for wanting to fall in with them, as a result im now feeling caught in some sort of category all of my own, which in itself isnt bad, but it is kinda lonely.

I also draw and make art, most of it is fan art but occasionally I do my own stuff too like this



I also knit crochet and make fimo figurines. I write poetry and write music that I play on guitar and electric keyboard. Like I said at the beginning. Im a gemini so I need a lot of stimli I think. Anyway say hi if you wanna. I'm new around here and wouldnt mind meeting some like minded people

*hugs*
 
 
Current Location: not at work
Current Mood: creative
Current Music: FRNK Radio
 
 
 
 

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